- In case you can’t read the above inscription, it says:
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To Kerry, Reach for the Stars. Michael Bolton Merch Guy.
P.S. Love your blog.
- Yep, that’s right, Michael Bolton’s merch guy, the very same guy who sells Michael Bolton t-shirts, Michael Bolton CDs, Michael Bolton keychains, Michael Bolton sweatshirts and Michael Bolton 8 x 10 glossies while standing behind a folding table, swiping credit cards, making change and enduring conversations between 50-year-old women about how sexy Michael Bolton is loves The Specktator!
- Former State Representative and Fernandina Beach Mayor, who’s currently running for Florida senator, Aaron Bean
- International Federation of Competitive Eating #39 Jon Bello
- Tracy Collins
- J. Dash
- Jaxson de Ville
- Daniel Davis
- Chef Kenny Gilbert
- Spinner Howland
- http://www.ifoce.com/rankings.php?action=detail&sn=194
- Jordyn Jackson
- David Luckin
- Tom McManus
- Shannon Miller
- Moonpie
- AJ Neaher
- Richard Nunn
- Drs. Colleen and Jason Olitksy (aka The Smile Stylists)
- Cole Pepper
- Melissa Ross
- Jacksonville Jaguars Mike Sims-Walker
- Sharon Wilbur
Flagship Romance
Photo credit: Crystal Blase, West House Photography
We (OK, I) interrupt the announcement of The Speckies to bring you a Specktator exclusive. I’m not saying how or from whom or what I had to do to get it, but Flagship Romance‘s yet-to-be-released EP, The Fudge Sessions, is playing on my iTunes right this very minute.
Because I think the CD is so amazing, I had to share at least one song. Plus, I’ve never leaked a song before (I feel so cool right now).
So at the risk of suffering severe bodily harm from Jordyn Jackson (she’s a lot tougher than she looks, people), I present to you ”Hit the Ground” from Flagship Romance’s yet-to-be-released EP, The Fudge Sessions.
If you’d rather not risk a JJ beat down, however, you can wait until January 19 when The Fudge Sessions is officially released at Jack Rabbits.
P.S. You’re welcome.
It’s me!
Photo: Laura Evans, Evans-Ronan Design+Photography
Around this time every year, local media outlets announce their “Best of…” lists. Some folks question their selection processes—like say … ballot box stuffing or “suggestive” advertising.
I, on the other hand, am not beholden to anyone for anything (well, other than Uncle Sam and MasterCard). Granted, I did solicit bribes on Twitter, but I was just kidding (which I assume SPAR was too with their offer of $1 million).
That said, I have instituted the Speckie Awards. The Speckies, as they’re affectionately known, recognize my 50 favorite people, places and things in Jacksonville. And with that, I present to you The Speckies: Part One (in no particular order).
- Blue Bamboo: Two words: Dragon whiskers. Three more words: Chef Dennis Chan.
- Peterbrooke’s chocolate-covered popcorn: Drooled on my keyboard at the mere thought of it.
- Lew Turner of First Coast News: The most charming man on color TV.
- Sun-Ray Cinema: Quirky flicks, delicious pizza, comfy seats, cold beer, genius owners.
- 927 Events: Coolest event space in town. Did I mention pork sliders?
- On the Fly Food Truck: Such deliciousness from a truck. Best grilled cheese I ever had.
- Michael Walker of Cross Training San Marco: Personal trainer to the stars—and me (not lately, obviously).
- Sweet! by Good Golly Miss Holly: Kryptonite is to Superman as these cupcakes are to me.
- Dos Gatos: Birthplace of Red Dawn and SABUS. Don’t ask. Seriously. Don’t.
- Designed Alliance | A Coaching Partnership: How do you think I won Dancing With the Stars?
- Taste of Thai: Hated Thai food … until I tried Aurathai Sellas’.
- Bold City Brewery: Killer Whale Cream Ale. And drunk Jenga.
In case you missed my ramblings on First Coast Connect this morning (or you’re still debating if the right voice won The Voice), here’s what’s coming up this week—and beyond—Around Town:
Through December 31
Zoo Lights
Jacksonville Zoo
Through Sunday, January 6
Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings
Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine
Thursday, December 20-Sunday, December 23
Santaland Diaries
Theatre Jacksonville
Something to cheer about?
Photo credit: Jaguars.com
Don’t feel bad, Jacksonville Jaguars! Your players may comprise the second worst team in the NFL, but your cheerleaders have fared considerably better, according to Bleacher Report’s NFL cheerleader power rankings.
Out of 32 teams, the ROAR of the Jaguars come in at #20. That’s the good news. The bad news: Six of the teams in the league don’t even have cheerleaders (a factoid that would make an excellent trivia question, by the way).
At least the members of the ROAR, can take solace in the fact that they are hotter than the cheerleaders from six teams that do have squads: the Atlanta Falcons, Seattle Seahawks, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Minnesota Vikings and Tennessee Titans.
Personally, I have no business judging cheerleaders, as my only experience with the “sport” is watching Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team on CMT and a devastatingly embarrassing experience trying out for the junior variety squad in high school (not that I’m bitter; actually, I didn’t become bitter until I didn’t make the majorette team either).
In fact, I think most of the ROAR girls are very attractive and can certainly dance better than I can (which is saying a lot since I am Jacksonville’s reigning Dancing With the Stars champ). I do have a few suggestions as to how they may improve their standing in the power rankings, however.
1. Stop trying so hard to be liked. Of the 35 ladies on the roster, only five sign their names without a heart.
Those girls have heart!
Images from: Jaguars.com
2. Spend a little more time furthering your education or career and a little less time in the tanning booth. Everyone knows how sexy an intelligent woman is (at least that’s what my above-average intelligence tells my flabby white belly.)
What color would Crayola call these?
Images from: Jaguars.com
3. Cheer for a better team.
An open letter to the “Twit” from Colorado who responded to my Robby Tebow Stalker Alert:
Before I get to my reason for writing, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to comment in the first place. Judging from your Twitter profile page, you are extremely busy retweeting the witticisms of fake Madea (hellurrrr) and checking in everywhere you’ve ever been on foursquare (by the way, congratulations on your mayorships of Walgreens, Pizza Hut and Burger King, among others). That you could even find a moment to reach out to me says a lot about you, which brings me to purpose of this letter.
To refresh your memory, here is what you wrote:
“whoever took this pick [sic] is dumb, Christians have drinks, Christians smoke cigs. Ppl make me smh.”
First, I take umbrage at your use of the word “dumb” for several reasons.
Unlike “drinks and cigs” (says you), name calling isn’t very Christian-like, at least in the way you used it. Plus, the word you should have used is “stupid.” According to Merriam-Webster, the first definition of “stupid” is “slow of mind, lacking in intelligence,” whereas “dumb” is defined first as “lacking the power of human speech” (“lacking intelligence” is definition six).
But what do I know? I always thought the abbreviation for “picture” was “pic.”
Second, you referenced drinking and cigarette smoking as being things that Christians do, but you forgot to include using foul/obscene language. After scanning your profile page, I noticed you have a bit of a potty mouth using words like “bitch,” “shit” and “fuck”—and not just regular “fuck” but “fucktard,” a word Ann Coulter probably wouldn’t even use. (For the record, I find that word so offensive, I had trouble even typing it.) And lest we forget my favorite of all of your Tweets:
“Why do people care so much if tebow is a virgin worry about your own dick! #tebow #virgin #mindyourownbusiness”
(Truth be told, I thought the Tweet was amusing. I did notice, however, that you didn’t tag Tim in it.)
In summation, friend, my Stalker Alert Tweets are light-hearted glimpses into the lives of celebrities (or in this case, celebrity siblings) around my hometown. They are not intended to be mean-spirited or judgmental, which is more than I can say for your Tweets (see: Matthew 7:1).
Sincerely,
Rev. Specktator
Universal Life Church Monastery
Those of you who follow me on Twitter (@thspecktator) should be familiar with my Stalker Alerts (those of who don’t should be ashamed of yourselves unless, of course, you’re not on Twitter, in which case you should be doubly ashamed of yourself). Basically, Stalker Alerts are notices of when and where a celebrity or “celebrity” (I’m talking to you, Ken Amaro) has been spotted and what he or she is doing.
In the past year, I have “stalked” everyone from Academy Award nominee Bill Murray and Jim Furyk to Jane Seymour and Tom Green—and Justin Blackmon’s car.
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- Bill Murray at Firehouse Subs Photo by Kerry Speckman
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- Jim Furyk at WJCT Studios Photo by Kerry Speckman
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- Jane Seymour at Avondale Artworks Photo: Kerry Speckman
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- Tom Green at Jax airport Photo: Specktator Eye Team
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- President Obama at Jax rally Photo by Kerry Speckman
(I was going to list President Obama too but figured “stalking” the president just might be a federal offense. I mean, I got yelled at by a Secret Service agent just for waving my Obama head flip-flops.)
President Obama at Jax rally
Photo by Kerry Speckman
But I have never received as many comments or negative feedback as my recent post about someone who barely rated a Stalker Alert in the first place.
Following my Saturday evening post (didn’t that used to be a magazine?) about Robby Tebow, Tim Tebow’s brother, partying at Taco Lu in Jacksonville Beach, I was barraged with messages from ladies insulting me and lecturing me on Christianity:
“whoever took this pick [sic] is dumb, Christians have drinks, Christians smoke cigs. Ppl make me smh.”
“it must suck to be judged by strangers, and not be able to just live.”
Not very Christian-like, ladies. But I’ll get to you in a minute…
And I know “Tea” should be “Tee.” I’m not one so I don’t use the word very often.
In case you missed my ramblings on First Coast Connect this morning (or you’re too obsessed with the Royal Pregnancy announcement to concentrate), here’s what’s coming up this week Around Town:
Thursday, December 6–Saturday, December 8
The Community Nutcracker
Florida Theatre
**Free event**
Friday, December 7
Holiday at St. James
11 AM–7 PM, Hemming Plaza and City Hall at St. James
**Free event**
Friday, December 7
Clowning Around at the Library
3:30 PM, Main Library
Friday, December 7
Iris DeMent
8 PM, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall
**Free event**
Friday, December 7–Sunday, December 9
Pals and Paws Agility Trials
Jacksonville Equestrian Center
Friday, December 7–Sunday, January 6
Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings
Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine
**Free event**
Saturday, December 8
Holidazzle
10 AM–9 PM, Riverside Arts Market
Saturday, December 8
Occupy Jacksonville
4 PM, Murray Hill Library
**Free with donation of new unwrapped toy valued at $10**
Saturday, December 8
Jacksonville Roller Girls: Naughty vs. Nice
6 PM, Jacksonville Sports and Ice Plex
Saturday, December 8
Jacksonville Giants vs. South Carolina Warriors
7 PM, Veterans Memorial Arena
Saturday, December 8
Seventh Annual Big Trunk Show
7 PM, Cafe Eleven, St. Augustine
Through December 9
St. Johns County Festival of Trees
St. Johns County Convention Center
Sunday, December 9
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. New York Jets
1 PM, EverBank Field
**Free Event**
Sunday, December 9
Chanukah at The Landing
3–6 PM, Jacksonville Landing
**Free Event**
Sunday, December 9
Christmas Concert
6 PM, Crossroad Church UMC
Sunday, December 9
Joe Bonamassa
8 PM, Florida Theatre
Etc.
Tickets for the U.S. Davis Cup Team vs. Brazil tickets go on sale Friday, December 7 at 10 AM via Ticketmaster. Event is February 1-3 at Veterans Memorial Arena.
Jimmy Buffett tickets go on sale Saturday at 10 AM through Ticketmaster. Concert is February 7 at arena.
Mario Batali tickets go on sale Monday, December 10 at 10 AM at Publix Apron’s Cooking School. Check Specktator.com for details.
Tickets are now on sale for Doug Benson’s Movie Interruption at Sun-Ray Cinema, January 5 & 6. It will sell out. Trust me.
Check out Shopping for Charity: Jacksonville. Volunteers shop for deals, including maximizing savings with coupons, to help those less fortunate by donating products that many nonprofits could not otherwise afford.
Go “Around Town” with Kerry “Specktator” Speckman on First Coast Connect on 89.9 FM every Thursday around 9:45 AM. And if you really want a laugh, tune into the show via USTREAM. Her dancing skills are really quite impeccable, an indisputable fact now that she has been crowned “Jacksonville’s Favorite Dancer.”
And sometimes she forgets she’s on camera and picks her nose.
Nice sausage
Credit: MarioBatali.com
Considered a celebrity among celebrity chefs, Mario Batali is appears at the Jacksonville Public Library on February 22, as part of Publix Apron’s Cooking School. Tickets are $95 go on sale December 10 at 10 a.m.
Before you go getting all incazzato at the ticket price, it does include a buffet of Batali’s recipes (prepared by the library’s catering department, I assume; see Dewey Decimal call number 641.5), a cooking demo and book signing.
In the event that you are tongue-tied at the thought of speaking to the world-renowned chef and world’s most famous wearer of Crocs, I have thoughtfully put together some talking points in the event that you have the opportunity to do so.
Watch that hand, buddy.
Credit: US Weekly
• Gwyneth Paltrow is one of his good friends, and he considers her a “style icon.”
• He is 8 years old in dog years.
• He puts hibiscus flower in his tea.
• His likeness appears in the Nintendo game Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine.
• If you rearrange the letters in his name, it spells “Airmail Boat,” “Malaria Obit” or “Tibial Aroma.”
• He wears shorts because he is warm, by nature, and likes to be “comfy.”
• His signature color is orange because his kids wear it all the time and it’s a “happy color.”
Croc-odile Batali
Credit: MarioBatali.com
Crocs designed a signature edition of his favorite footwear for “kitchen aficionados,” featuring Crocs Lock™ tread which provides slip-resistance that exceeds industry standards and Croslite™ material for a custom fit. *Not a paid spokesperson.
As the Jacksonville Jaguars continue their attempts to dig out from yet another crap pile of a season, at least they’re still being noticed … though, for all the wrong reasons.
Bleacher Report’s “Top 5 Dumbest Ideas in NFL History” referred to a Jaguars promotion: “Even then, for a franchise like the Jaguars [one of the worst teams in the league], it’s one of the dumbest ideas ever.”
Surprisingly, Jaguaring didn’t even make the list.