Invasion of Privacy: The River Run edition
By kaspeckman | March 11, 2012
The 35th annual Gate River Run took place yesterday morning with more than 16,000 competing for the $12,000 top prize. Unlike the big-city marathons that attract runners like Lance Armstrong, my boyfriend Edward Norton and Oprah, the largest 15K race in the country can rely on a handful of pro runners and, most important, J-listers, whose times I like to spread throughout the blogosphere.
Because of an e-scolding I received from a certain news personality’s wife several years back after reporting local celebs’ times, I am issuing this disclaimer prior to revealing the results.
NOTE: Just because a J-lister’s time isn’t as impressive as you might expect it to be should be no reflection on said individual. He or she could be coming back from an injury, competing with an undetectable illness or, say, pacing and/or or supporting a loved one who is running his or her first race, thereby, sacrificing the speed at which the J-lister would have completed the River Run unencumbered by that loved one. Judge not lest ye be judged.
No matter what their finish time, these J-listers should all hold their heads high that they finished at all. I mean, I sure couldn’t do it, which is why I ran the 5K. Plus, if they didn’t want us to know how they did, they wouldn’t have registered under their real names.
- First Coast News chief meteorologist Tim Deegan, 52, 1:15:56
- Fourth Judicial Circuit public defender Matt Shirk, 38, 1:24:31
- First Coast News reporter Kaitlyn Ross, 30, 1:34:46
- Channel 4 chief meteorologist John Gaughan, 44, 1:36:24
- First Coast News anchor Donna Deegan, 51, 1:41:48
- Channel 4 Morning Show anchor Staci Spanos, 40, 1:42:53
- Channel 4 meteorologist Richard Nunn, 43, 1:47:18
- City Councilman Ray Holt, 41, 1:56:04
- Action News anchor Leslie Coursey, 36, 2:12:00
- Attorney “You Call Call Me Eddie” Farah, 58, 2:16:57
- City Councilman Don Redman, 67, 2:18:36
I’d also like to give a special shout out to 80-year-old Gate (as in “Gate River Run”) Petroleum Co. founder and chairman Herb Peyton (and father of former mayor John Peyton) who finished the race in 1:42:47, taking second place in his age group!
And thanks to Mayor Alvin Brown for taking the time to put on a Gate River Run t-shirt and stand out on the 5K course giving high-fives high-5Ks to participants.
P.S. Don’t think I didn’t run out of my way to slap his hand and yell “MAYOR!” when I went by (which, if anyone happens to have a photo of, I’d be willing to pay 20 bucks for it). While I wait for that photo, I will have to make do with the fact that the mayor favorited my Tweet. (It’s really quite sad how easily impressed I am.)